| Mother, daughter hair journey ends at Walmart |
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| Healthy Hair | |||
| Wednesday, 12 May 2010 00:00 | |||
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Carolyn Lide
Hair ChroniclesSelf-acceptance deeper than styleBy Carolyn Lide, guest writerWhen I was pregnant, I had the same anxieties as most expectant mothers. In the end, all you want is a healthy baby. One day a co-worker said to me, "You know mixed babies have the worse hair." I stood looking dumbfounded. How could this older African-American woman with a head full of long straight hair-natural and chemical free-say that to me? It never crossed my mind to be concerned about my baby's hair.
I had a healthy baby. After inspecting her, I did notice her hair. It was a full head of black straight hair like her dad's. My mother came to visit and within minutes she said matter-of-factly, "She has her daddy's hair." Her father is Scottish, Irish and Native American. I am an African-American southern girl with metropolitan tastes.
As Alyssa got older, her hair started to change. It went from straight to curly. Not just any kind of curly either. Her hair became naturally frizzy Shirley Temple ringlets. Strangers often commented that her hair was absolutely gorgeous. Some—mostly Caucasian people—often asked why my baby's hair was curly and mine wasn't. Being a young new mom I felt then I had to give them an answer. I tried explaining that my hair was curly too, but because of the relaxer, my hair seemed straight. They would look at me with question-mark faces. After months of this, I stopped explaining.
Being from a small town in South Carolina, interracial relationships were not the norm 13 years ago. Then, I was a 25-year-old college graduate who moved back home. I was a single mom looking for work. I lived in a town where everyone knew not just you but your whole family. So the questions weren't just about my baby. The questions were trying to pry into my life; and I just decided it was none of their business.
Instead, I worked to keep my baby's hair as cute and well managed as possible. But the older my daughter became, the more the brush stopped being her friend. It no longer kept her ringlets manageable. In fact, brushes just tangled her hair all the more.
Her hair is curly and stays dry. To keep her hair moisturized, we've tried every product under the sun like the more ethnic-geared products that ranged from Pink Oil Moisturizer to Soft Sheen. We've tried more popular products ranging from Nexxus to Pantene. However, her frizzy curls stayed frizzy and a complete tangled moody mess!
Lide and daughter, Alyssa, who recently tried Mixed Chicks.
Not only was trying to keep her hair moisturized a battle, but finding a ‘do that complimented her face and coincided with her style tastes also was challenging. Alyssa loves typical African-American hairstyles. She likes braids, twists-anything her naturally curly hair refuses to do. Her hair won't hold braids, and twists don't stay flat. Seeing her friends wear these styles day in and out used to really frustrate Alyssa. She used to go into the local drug store, look at the kiddie perm boxes and covet the girls with the straight hair or even the girls who wore the braids. "Oh, Mama," she used to say, "I wish I had their hair."
Listening to her comments often saddened me because I wanted my child to be confident and comfortable. I didn't want her to have self-esteem issues. I wanted her to feel good about herself and love what she saw in the mirror. I always encouraged her to embrace her curls. I would tell her that her hair is beautiful, pretty and many people would love to have her hair texture.
This type of discussion went on for years until we recently found a wonderful stylist in the local Walmart. Kristi is a godsend. She looked at my child and immediately understood what she needed. Partly, I think, it's because Kristi's own hair is similar in texture to Alyssa's. Because of Kristi, Alyssa's hair stays healthy and has a fabulous shine. Kristi can even flat twist Alyssa's hair! My daughter also likes her. Kristi is patient, sweet and even stayed late to give Alyssa a detailed style. Kristi is such a jewel that I've told her that if she moves we will follow!
We still struggle with the time in between salon visits. We haven't gotten the care exactly right. The tea tree oil that everyone recommends sits on top of Alyssa's thick hair and some other products are just as sticky, but we are getting better.
One day my daughter came home and said one of her friends told her that she has "good hair." I looked at Alyssa and said, "I don't know what they call good. I know that taking care of it is good and expensive." We both laughed.
Since then, we have tried Mixed Chicks. It's working fine. It is really hydrating and adding a lot of moisture to Alyssa's hair. It's the product we've been looking for.
Carolyn Lide is a mom from South Carolina.
Copyright 2010 © My Salon Scoop, LLC Comments (1)
  written by ryg, June 25, 2010
Thank you for sharing your story. It's a testament to how we ALL have hair issues, no matter the texture. Often, "good hair" is assigned to the stereotypical non-African American textured hair. It's good to know that people are beginning to realize that "good hair" is an individual opinion and feeling. "Good hair" is any style or texture that the wearer likes. All of us have "good hair" days and "bad hair" days no matter how it looks and feels to anyone else. Good luck to you and your beautiful daughter on having more "good" days than "bad".
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